By Chris Millares, VP/ Partner Amerikick
What’s up everyone. Wanted to share something I wrote a while ago with our South Philly Parents… I learned more from the student in article below than I have from any lecture, college class, book or inspirational talk.
See you at the school this week! Let me know what you think – Chris M.
That was the day…
That was the day I quit, gave up, stopped, threw in the towel and knew that I was ABSOLUTELY DONE teaching martial arts! I wanted nothing to do with it. I was retired and excited to hand in my letter of resignation.
“Ok Chris! I’ll bite, you crazy human. Why did you quit?”
Thanks for asking 🙂 … Let’s go! 👊
The kid’s name was Ryan. He was 7 years old — had that innocent Disney look, like he’d been penciled by Walt himself.
Ryan was (in official Chris terminology) “a little stud.” Clean cut, well dressed by two parents who clearly adored him. The optics forecasted a future movie star.
Full disclosure — I could easily picture Ryan belting out “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” to Scarlett Johansson in the next Top Gun sequel.
😬 Looks Can Be Deceiving
As with life — looks can lie. Ryan was the ultimate juxtaposition of the optics.
Plain English: the kid was a nightmare.
Aggressive. Rude. Angry. Like Stitch gone rogue.
He left teachers in a state of karate-induced PTSD.
“How tough?” you ask.
Let’s put it this way — I started wearing a groin cup every time Ryan showed up.
He’d front kick like a man possessed, then follow with a peace-symbol jab to the eyes. ✌️👁️👁️
He once brought pushpins to class, hid them in his gi, and planted them under unsuspecting students yelling, “Booby trap! HAHA, got you dummy!”
And then there was the legendary Cheez-It Incident.
During sprints, two bags flew out of his uniform like a Call of Duty carpet bomb.
“Feel my wrath, dummies!” Ryan shouted.
Cheez-Its… everywhere. 🧀💥
What 7-year-old uses the word “wrath”?
Answer: Ryan.
The kid was chaos in a karate belt.
✅ To Our Credit, We Tried Everything
Take away stripes on his belt ☑️
Take away the belt entirely ☑️
Kick him out of class ☑️
Parents take away Pokémon cards ☑️
Parent-teacher conferences ☑️
Free private lessons ☑️
Three strikes, you’re out ☑️
Check, check, and check again 😎
🧘♂️ Breathe
Deep breath… again… another one… 🫁
Feels like a random left turn into meditation, right?
It’s not. Stay with me. Because this is the moment everything changed.
💔 The Backstory
Here’s what I hadn’t told you yet: Ryan went through tragedy.
He was 4 when it happened.
His parents went out for a date night, leaving him with his aunt and uncle. A kiss, a “be good,” and one last hug.
On their way home, there was a devastating car crash. They didn’t make it.
Ryan never saw his mom or dad again. 💔
Four years old — and his world was gone.
🕒 Timeout — Real Time Update
It’s 2:34 PM on a Sunday.
This writer (me, Chris M) just got up from the laptop, walked to the living room, and hugged my kids — Christian Anthony, who’s playing Madden 🏈, and Lila Rose, knee-deep in Target slime kits 🧃💖.
A mentor once told me:
“Happiness lives in the little moments — flashes of joy in the middle of life’s chaos.”
I wrote that down. Still hits.
Okay, I’m back. Let’s finish.
👨👩👦 Uncle Dad & Aunt Mom
From that night on, Ryan’s aunt and uncle became his Uncle Dad and Aunt Mom.
A babysitting favor turned into a lifelong promise — to give Ryan the love he lost.
They gave him everything: stability, family, and compassion in its purest form ❤️.
🔄 Back to the “Check Section”
One day, Uncle Dad stopped by the dojo:
“Yo Chris! What’s up big guy? Got a few minutes?”
We sat down. He handed me a Wawa coffee ☕ (of course).
Then he hit me with it:
“We’ve been talking with the child psychologist. She said, ‘Ryan already lost everything a little boy could lose. There’s nothing else we can take away to change his behavior — he’s already lost it all.’
Chris, I think we’ve been doing this all wrong.”That moment — 💡 — was my Pollock painting moment. The one that hit different.
That day, I quit teaching karate forever… and started teaching kids.
The next class, I changed everything.
“Ryan, I know you already know how to do this — but the other kids don’t. Can you lead by example?”
“Yes, Sensei!” he said with a proud smile.
No fights. No chaos. Just discipline.
Ryan crushed it that day — and every day after.
🥋 The Shift
That day, I quit teaching karate forever… and started teaching kids.
The next class, I changed everything.
“Ryan, I know you already know how to do this — but the other kids don’t. Can you lead by example?”
“Yes, Sensei!” he said with a proud smile.
No fights. No chaos. Just discipline.
Ryan crushed it that day — and every day after.
🖤 Full Circle
Three and a half years later, Ryan earned his Amerikick Black Belt. 🥋
He stood on stage at the Black Belt Extravaganza, accepting his belt from Grand Master Dennis Tosten.
Uncle Dad and Aunt Mom cried like proud parents should. 👏😭
📞 Years Later…
Fast forward to this past summer.
I’m telling this story to a buddy when my phone rings — unknown number. Normally, I’d ignore it (I don’t need a new car warranty 🤣), but I picked up.
“What’s up, Sensei Chris? It’s Ryan! Do you remember me?”
Of course I did.
“I’m in the Navy now,” he said. 🇺🇸
Not a SEAL like Goggins — but serving our country nonetheless.
Then he said something I’ll never forget:
“You used to tell us, ‘All it takes is all you’ve got,’ and ‘Leadership is influence — that’s it.’ I never forgot those. You were one of my favorite teachers ever.”
I told him:
“Buddy, you’re the reason I quit teaching karate and became obsessed with teaching kids. If my son grows up to be half the man you are, I’ll feel like I did my job as a dad.”
Ryan: “So… you’re coming to the wedding, right?” 😂
✨ Coincidence? Nah.
People call it coincidence. I call it alignment.
Two moments meant to collide — to remind you of your why.
That call was the universe tapping me on the shoulder saying, ‘You’re exactly where you need to be.’ 🙏
Thanks for that, Nick (yeah, that’s his real name 😉).
🌴 One Last Thing…
Expedia? Travelocity? Booking.com?
Where’s the best place to book a flight to Florida for a Navy wedding next year? 😎✈️
ttys,
Chris Millares
VP, Amerikick Corp
🥋💪🔥
